Asian Toilet? Read this.

From Malaysian Insider, Tuesday February 23 2010

Colin Boyd Shafer teaches social science at a college in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Aside from writing/ranting, he concentrates most of his time doing documentary photography, trying to create a dialogue around sensitive issues. You can follow his work at ‘Colinizing Photography’ on Facebook.

Malaysia: a multi-bathroom-style country FEB 23 —

Asia’s toilets can shock the most seasoned traveller. An Asian public washroom — or “toilet” — causes an ethnocentric reaction in many foreign visitors. The squat toilet takes many years to master; like karate, or piano. First, what does one do with the bucket of water? What is that hose for? Aiming is reminiscent of a World War II bomber!

My first experience with an Asian public restroom was in China. I saw a young man squatting for a poop, smiling, and texting on his hand phone. It wasn’t that he had left the stall door open, there were no stalls — it was a communal poop trough!

In India, I managed to clog my friend’s grandparents’ toilet. I didn’t realise that it couldn’t handle toilet paper. It took grandma, grandpa, the maids, and a plumber to handle the emergency. Nothing like having a friend’s grandparents conversing over your “business.”

One disgruntled foreigner stated in the Times Online that “Malaysian public lavs remind [him] of France in the early ‘80s. Particularly annoying is that even when you find a ‘real’ loo there’s usually no paper and even if there is, someone has used the hose on the wall instead and now the cubicle looks like a shower — water everywhere!”

Clearly he doesn’t appreciate bathroom-style diversity! A cab driver recently told me about growing up in KL. All his family had was a bucket. At night, workers would come collect the waste, and take it out of the city. He said he thought people were happier then… interesting.

Fast forward to today, and fancy “Western toilets” are seemingly on the rise. I can’t believe this website exists, but at www.poopreport.com they actually discuss how Malaysia is going through a “toilet revolution” from Asian squats to Western seats. Some squatting extremists are retaliating against this change by standing — and sometimes breaking — these porcelain bowls from the West. Before Malaysia, I had never seen footprints on a toilet seat.

Adaptability differs amongst the foreigners who step foot into this country. One friend says when she goes into a public washroom she will squat regardless of whether it is an Asian squat or a Western seat. She says, “Western promiscuous seats get in the way!” Another expat felt the complete opposite. She physically and mentally could not handle the concept of the squat. She would torture herself, holding it in while searching for a Western seat.

Even more interesting than the hole versus bowl debate, is the paper versus hose question. Living in Malaysia for almost two years has given me unique insights into the paper/hose divide. I understand the relevance to Islam — cleaning oneself — but the hose is used widely by people of different religions. It is a debate worth discussing. Are you a hose or a paper person?

On the positive side of things, with the hose you can never run out, it’s good on a hot day, and saves paper. On the negative side it leaves you wet, wastes water (I guess growing trees does too, though), and can run “amok” spraying everywhere and everyone.

The paper’s advantage is that it leaves you with a dry bottom, comes in nice rolls, and the cardboard can be used by school children in arts and crafts to make trumpets, farm animals, and castles. However, the paper is bleached and environmentally unfriendly (kills trees), costs a little more, and when it runs out you are stuck with nothing but improvisation.

Strictly toilet paper-using expats are easy to find. One friend tells me he grew up with a hose in his backyard to water the lawn but never in the bathroom. He laughs in the face of the hose user. However, another colleague of mine, who has been living here for almost three years has found the joy in the hose, and says his strict toilet-paper-using-days are behind him. He admires hose. He describes himself as a “switch hitter”; able to use either the hose or the paper, or a combination of both.

I surveyed a bunch of my local friends and definitely found them to be pro-hose. They laugh in the face of the paper user.

Living here I have grown to appreciate the diversity. Malaysia is a multi-bathroom-style country. Don’t lose sleep over whether Malaysia is really going through a toilet revolution. Don’t fret about whether the squatting heritage will be lost. Whether you are a seater, a squatter, a hoser or a paper pusher, let’s all just try to get along and enjoy the variety!

* The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist.

Comments:

… written by sarawakian, February 23, 2010

When u step on a dog poo, do you merely wipe it with tissue or wash it with water? For me, washing require water. Whether it’s washing car, dishes, hand or even your backside, you need water. You don’t wash your dirty car just by merely wiping it with tissue. I’m sorry but this is not just Islam teaching, but the basic of hygiene.

… written by Naif, February 23, 2010

This is the best article I’ve read so far in MI. What a break from Politics! Love this piece. I’m definitely pro-hose, I think I speak on behalf of the majority of Malays that we use it to clean our anus, lest we want to leave the remnants till God knows when.

… written by Bob, February 23, 2010

i feel cleaner with the hose.

… written by Sean, February 23, 2010

Our renovations replaced the squat toilets (we used to call them ‘ski trainers’ in France in the 80s) with sit toilets, but visitors will often discover no paper on the holder – usually covered by an up-turned carrier bag to keep the shower water off the (missing) toilet paper. My wife – who grew up with squat toilets – still checks the end of my trouser legs when I come out of a public toilet here to see if I’ve learned what to do with long trousers in a squat toilet. I still have no idea, so I make sure I wear dark-coloured trousers when I go out. The only time I ever felt like I was winning with squatting was on higher-altitude caving expeditions where we’d camp just below the snow line. The only ground that could be broken with a trowel would be just around the entrance of a gopher hole. You wouldn’t dig first, just bombs-away for a direct hit a la Star Wars IV A New Hope, then shovel the surrounding earth into the gopher hole. I am desperately hoping there’s no such thing as karma: I really never want to experience being entombed like that from the gopher’s perspective. An ecologist informed us that healthy sphagnum moss was the best toilet paper, as it has some anti-bacterial properties. Moss was a superb revelation on expeditions where the nearest water in quantities large enough to wash in was a half-day’s walk away. I doubt many of my visitors would be impressed by me growing moss in my bathroom now, though – even if it was better than paper and hose together.

… written by Andy, February 23, 2010

Squatting is the natural human way to defecate. By the way, western sitting positions increase the risk of haemorrhoids.

… written by Audrey , February 23, 2010

Love this! Makes me recall the many incidents of Malaysian toilet woes. I am definitely pro-hose but it might be less stressful to be non-partisan in this multi-bathroom-style country

… written by Farah, February 23, 2010

Hahahaha! Most amusing and intriguing article I’ve ever read on MI! Such an excellent change from the serious economical and political blogs. I have to say that I’m pro hose but I do get extremely EXTREMELY annoyed when the loos look like a monsoon swept through. If anything, I just feel cleaner using the hose (and a bit of paper to wipe dry). It’s more hygienic. Nothing to really do with Islam. It’s just cleaner. I’m also pro seat, but only because I have an awful sense of balance when I’m squatting (or any other reason really, I tend to trip over my own feet with just mere walking!). FYI. The squatting toilets are traditional in Japan too you know. Most public toilets there still have both (just like in Malaysia) but their automatic toilets with the bidet are simply the creations of the God of the Loo! Absolutely brilliant and ALWAYS hits the right spots and leaves the loo dry! We should all invest in Japanese toilets.

… written by Scout, February 23, 2010

Oh come on, Malaysia, get a grip. Use a hose or whatever at home, in private. Use paper in public. Do you know how many germs are transferred through water? Think it’s hygienic to leave a sopping wet mess in toilets into which other people have to enter… ESPECIALLY… especially… if you’re wearing open-toed sandals/slippers?

… written by Aargh!, February 23, 2010

Reading this article makes me want to throw up. Spoilt my day.

… written by Jwong, February 23, 2010

I sit at home( I know it’s clean), I squat for outside business(even if it’s a western type). I use both water and tissue. Best of both world, is’nt it.

… written by DB, February 23, 2010

Whenever I use the Western seat, I’ll make sure my bottom is slightly elevated from the seat as to avoid contact with the seat. It serves 2 purpose

I do my business

I work my upper thighs, calves and bottom

I love the hose. A Western study has shown that by washing your private parts with water regularly, you are able to maintain the Ph of that area and keep it clean. Then make sure you wipe it to keep it dry after.

Presto, from my toilet visits I get

1. cleaner & healthier private part
2. exercise
3. conform to the both the Western and Asia ways of doing business Hope this helps

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